It Was A Dark And Stormy Night...

It was a dark and stormy night when lightning struck and she fell back into my life.

“She’d always reminded me of a magnet; attractive from the back, but unapproachable from the front. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had it’s sides pressed in by one of those Thigh Master machines. I knew better, but she grew on me like she was E. coli and I was room temperature Canadian beef. I flicked on the light, but it just sat there like an inanimate object. I tried to look away, but her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Crazy thoughts tumbled over in my head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without a Cling Free dryer sheet.”

No, only one thing was certain about her falling back into my life; one of us was about to get burned, again, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be her...

Me; with help from some “Really Bad Analogies,” Shutterstock.com and Photoshop…

http://www.etni.org.il/farside/analogies.htm
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/really-bad-analogies-written-by-high-school-students.jpg